How would you use different messages or behaviors if you were underbenefited versus overbenefited?

Question

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Week 5 Exercise Instructions (choose one option):

Option 1: Social support

Think of a time when someone provided you, or you provided someone, with social support.

What type(s) of social support outlined in Bevan did you or they use?

What type of verbal and nonverbal cues were used to provide this support.

Was it appropriate for the situation and why?

Option 2: Relationship equity

Report on a time when you felt you were in an unbalanced relationship.

Did you feel underbenefited or overbenefited?

Based on what you have learned in Bevan, what are some specific verbal and nonverbal messages or behaviors you might use to restore equity in a close relationship?

How would you use different messages or behaviors if you were underbenefited versus overbenefited?

Option 3: Are you a chameleon?

In chapter 11, Bevan reports on the value of being a chameleon, where you can change your communication style to suit the scenario. This requires being highly aware and mindful of yourself, others, and the choices you make. In this exercise, you will test this theory:

Put yourself in a challenging position in your personal or professional life. If you are at work, speak up at a meeting or talk to your co-worker or boss about the topic. If you at home, have a difficult conversation with someone you care about.

Before you have the conversation, think about the cultural norms for this exchange. What are they? Are you following or violating those norms?

As you have the conversation, be mindful of where you are emotionally, and where they are. Report on those emotions and the role of empathy and emotional intelligence in the exchange.

How did it go? Did you feel you were closer to being a “chameleon?”